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Healthier Escorting: Through Emotional Detachment


by Bob Stevens

 

Previously I wrote an article describing how female escorts can improve their ability to close sales on prospective new customers and improve their client retention by improving rapport by reaching out and making emotional connections.

 

The challenge when this happens then lies with the few men who misunderstand your niceness and just talk you to death about everything like you're some psychologist or counselor. This gets complicated and you can hurt your customer’s feelings which is why many escorts try and keep a certain distance so that they do not attract weirdoes, give the wrong idea, or falsely lead their customers on. Understandably an escort does not want to get drained by getting sucked into the sad emotional worlds of their clients. These are very valid issues and all this means is that escorts have to strike a delicate balance between making a connection with each of their customers, and then not crossing the line and getting too close to them

 

Now, with all that being said, I am referring to emotionally healthy men who do understand that what you provide is an adult service, and they need to respect you, your time, and the boundaries and limitations you set.

 

Now if you have a hard time listening to people and hearing about their depressing lives or their problems, you'll also have a hard time with a man who uses your time to complain about his ex, his job, or his life. I once knew an escort who would go to dinner with a doctor who would fly into town once a month. He would spend most of the time talking, and sometimes crying, about his wife who was dying from cancer. The poor escort was going out of her mind because his situation depressed her so badly, but at the same time he paid her really really good money for her time and sympathetic ear.

 

So this article is about working as an escort yet maintaining some emotional self preservation by being emotionally detached when you are with your customers. To define the term, emotional detachment. is a type of mental assertiveness that allows you to stay aware and maintain your boundaries and psychic integrity when faced with the emotional demands of another person or group of persons.

  

Emotional detachment is a positive and deliberate mental attitude which allows you to avoid engaging the emotions of others. It is often applied to relatives and associates of people who are in some way emotionally overly demanding. A simple example might be the indifference parents develop toward their children's temper tantrums, because doing so if for the child's own good.

 

A more extreme form of this has been called "tough love," meaning you purposely let someone go through a painful life experience without your interference for the sake of its greater educational and maturational value. This can be an excruciatingly painful experience for loved ones who must avoid the urge to step in and rescue the person from that pain (but thereby interferes with the loved one having a much-needed growing experience).

 

Detachment does not mean avoiding the feeling of empathy; and closing off any and all emotional connections, it is actually more of an awareness of empathetic feelings that allows you the space needed to rationally choose whether or not to engage or be overwhelmed by the feelings of others and their situations.

 

Professional psychologists, relationship counselors, doctors, nurses, employ this technique everyday. If they didn’t they’d stress out, get depressed and otherwise lose their minds. They learn to listen closely and respond appropriately to their clients but do not feel the emotions that can harm their emotional balance. Escorts can do the same thing and need not feel they are responsible for, nor can cure their client's pains by allowing themselves to get that close to their clients. Escorts must always remember that escorting is a job, and it's one thing to hear your client's problems, it's another thing to allow yourself to get sucked in so deep you feel you are being dragged through the mud with them.

  

With this new understanding in mind, protect yourself, set boundaries and maintain a healthy emotional distance for yourself, and you'll be able to provide your clients the feeling of the emotional connections they need from you, yet you'll also have the emotional distance you need from them.

 

Bob Stevens is the Head Talent Scout for Exotics